Prancing Idiosyncrasy

(500) Days of Summer

2009-11-17T17:56:00.000+08:00

Um, yes, um, I don't know what to say. Except. No, I don't know what to say.

First Day Hassle

2009-11-09T17:39:00.000+08:00

Guess what? Sobrang stuupppiidd ng load rev process... I HATE it.

Na-dissolve iyong class namin sa swimming which totally came out of nowhere. I expected na maraming magsasabunutan at mapapamura dahil nawalan sila ng slot sa class na yun, pero it turns out na hindi pala. Ayaw pala ng madlang people iyong class na iyon, parang What the eff? Ang ganda nung time, girl pa iyong teacher, bakit why o why ayaw nila?

Sayang tuloy ung victory dance ko after enlistment. :| Hay buhay.

I had to endure the looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnng line in xavier windo 8. Bwiset. Hindi ko naman kasi kasalanan kung bakit nadissolve iyong PE class ah! bakit ako maglloadrev? tapos after the looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnng line, pupunta pa ako sa ibat ibang nilalang para humingi ng autograph.GRRR.. Daba daba? Say oo.

"Oo" Me: Buti naman.

Sheesh. okay, I think I sound like a housewife na walang ginawa kundi magcomplain. Okay, imma stop.

On the other hand, Histo 18 was soooooooooooooo FANNY. HAHAHA. We got the coolest prof as in. Big Time. Haha. Sooo Funny. Talaga.[I'm thinking of what he said.] Okay. heres some:

--"You may study for other subjects in my class. That's okay. Anyway, I used to do that to my teachers back then."

--About our group paper: "Please don't submit papers about wrestling, prostitution, pornography. It gets boring after n years of teaching. Well, okay, Pornography isn't boring but... you know? you get me?"

--"...What do you think we do for fun? Huh? We talk about you(students) online. You think we don't have teacher websites? You talk about us online, we talk about you online! Ha! We post our student's paper on the internet, and share it with each other! Hey, look at my student's paper, its so hilarious. Ay, wala yan, look! my student's dumber!" Haha.

That's the fun part, after that came POS, our prof wouldnt look at us! Swear! no kidding and he had the eyes of the slum dog millionaire kid. Grabe.

He kept speaking continuously and kept looking at the floor and at his leftish side. So, tingin naman ako ng tingin dun sa tinitingnan niya, and WALANG TAO DUN!!!! O_O. Ang weird! [but he seems nice though] <--naguilty ako. :D

First time. and it reeaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllly hurts.

2009-11-07T17:31:00.000+08:00

Okay, first, imma tell you how my day started.
Woke up with next to severe dysmenorrhea. I think I'm gonna die soon, everytime it comes to that time of the month. Shucks, I wish I really were a guy, coz if I were, Id just be caring about how my hair looks like.

Really hurtful dysmenorrhea, but I had to attend the violations seminar, which I THOUGHT and i was INFORMED that it waws 9-12. but it finished at 1030 AM. These people! Hay, so I was stuck waiting there at the cathouse, sitting there, for hours, until this Blue Babble guy comes, and sits there too. [We didnt talk, FYI., I just mentioned him.] HAHA.

I got bored sitting there, not talking to this Blue Babble guy so, I decided to check out the library. [the library for chrissakes!, that's how cool I am.] HAHA. I though the new one was open, but it wasnt. :( I thought I would be able to christen it with my new flats. :D HAHA. anyhow, I decided to go to the gallery again. [yes, we do, have a gallery!] (The first time is coming up soon)

And then, my dad came.

We went home... I drank sampaguita juice. [thats, for the dysmenorrhea, yeah... I'm cool that way.] HAHA. And fell asleep holding hot compresses on my abs <-- they're really called like that, i dont know any term for them. -__-

Woke up at 3 and prepared to go to *DRUM ROLL* please. The Studio! HAHA.I was late, as always, when Dad is driving. -______- (sigh) when I got there, they werent warming up anymore, they were doing weird stuff I cant pronounce! So, I joined them, and it was FREAKING awesome.

HAHA, so this is how it feels to wait 10 years to dance. :D HAHA.

And, it really hurt, well, not much, I guess, the floaty happiness bubble makes up for it. :D HAHA.

Fin.

Other people can I write, I can just read

2009-10-27T11:02:00.000+08:00

Because, I am lazy, (cue the applause, thank you very much) I decided to not have breakfast until an hour ago and sit by this monster of metal alloys and integrated circuits, known as the desktop computer. I was watching Gossip Girl: In the Realm of Bassness (I hate this show, btw), and planning to watch ANTM until Megavideo decided to cut me off [I have to wait 45 minutes before I resume with my day's major agenda].

So I decided to screen through multiply posts of random people, because I don't have Facebook like normal people do [refer to latest quick note] and I saw this post from a girl I knew back in high school, I'm one batch higher than she is. I so her "people-who-touched-my-heart" list and I can't help but be amused.

Sometimes, I think too much of myself, of my failures and shortcomings, of my wasting my days forgetting that the world exists beyond me. And that, it does not really matter if I die after this word, the world still will continue to exist [apart from certain scientfic theories and theological propositions], BUT at the same time, thinking that the world will never to be the same without me, or everyone of us for that matter.

The people that I hate, I hurt, I loved, and loved me back, their lives will never ever be the same, who they are, will not be the same if they didn't meet me. This happens to everyone. Ourselves so fragile, so vulnerable and yet so strong, ...it just is amazing to think that everything happens because it does period. It ends there, and yet, and yet, sometimes I think too much of my own circumstances.

This girl, I wrote about, she wrote an essay, about her person. And I saw her style, her essay, that same style of writing, of combining unmatched and rythmic words together, was my own style of writing years ago when I started to learn to write. That style, I adapted from the same people she knew after I knew them. But, somehow I forgot how to write through the years, somehow, I began to feel afraid of what words would come out of me. And, maybe Ive given up, maybe now, I can just read.

AJMA Leadership Summit

2009-10-25T18:04:00.000+08:00

I just woke up cause I wasnt able to sleep kanina cause we had to come up with a marketing plan. sooo tired, and my feet hurt ( cause i was wearing heels)

Thanks to my groupmates
Les, Kat, Butch, Jed and Anjo, for making the tasks less torturous. HAHA.
To les for not being a very comfy bedmate
and to jed for the ride to and from

Thanks to the project heads for making the overnight .....informativE? HAHA.

We stayed at Casa Pura. The most interesting part of the overnight for me was that there was a party outside of our room, and people were playing club music, and IT WAS JUST SO LOUD!!! At first, it was nice cause it was upbeat and all that, but then after you hear the remix of Bleeding Love ( i know, so retro right?) for the 100th time, it begins to result into a migraine.

Haha.

Well, the people partying eventually ran out of booze, I hope not, cause there was a loooooooong table of it at one side, and they left us in peace ...........at around 2 AM. What are party animals? HAHA.

On a totally different note, I was sooooooooo happy kanina, I was planning to write a kickass blog entry for the summit, and my experience, but then aisis pissed me off, I wasnt able to view my grades. Everytime i click the thingie, it said, Sorry, there are no search results to display blah blah.

the nerve!

So, after sometime, I saw my grades, and now, I just want to stop talking and crawl into a dark place....

To people who shall never know Accg 20

2009-10-15T19:28:00.000+08:00

May I say that you will be missing a lot of pain and misery. By saying so, i am assuming you are all masochists. coz who in the ellipsoid of this world shall ever inflict such horrible horrible endeavor to such self.

Yet, let me add, that you shall never know that motels are located in Pasig and how the government BIRsify them.

And you shall never taste plain vanilla in your long test.

And you shall never ever see pastel orange and blue matched together like it was dressed on crack.

"CASH" [--_____--]
"Ayni"
"Mayni"

HAHAHAHA.

Okay, lemme go back to the dark side:

You shall never experience how insanely tricky your tests are. that when you say operating activities, without "net" it may MEAN, nay, IT MEANS that net income hasnt been added to the operating activities.

You shall never know how the hell notes receivable fits in a journal entry.

And for that, i loathe you people.

I have to do Sci10 essay.

2009-10-11T17:01:00.000+08:00

Where was it? Where the highest point was the lowest?
It was there that we left off. Watching the cursor
blink blink blink
Like your eyelashes batting itself against me oh,
I loved to pluck them out until

Where was it? Where we left off?
The highest point of the hill with the cherry on top
It was a pretty good cherry mind you, impeccably
red

The Kevin Butalon Post

2009-10-03T12:33:00.000+08:00

I am running and running and always running
through the rain, always the rain, always the inevitably pouring rain
sometimes, through that freshly poured concrete near that place where people peddle to breathe
but always always through the rain

Well, let's be honest I sometimes stop
But not enough to take notice
So I run again and run and run

And sometimes I love, of course, I love
And always there should be rain because
well, because I want to

And sometimes I lie, of course, I lie
But not more than I love, well, at least,
I'd like to think about it that way

But always I run, and run, and run, and run, and r u n

The PATTY! Post

2009-10-03T12:28:00.000+08:00

Of course there's photoshop
And the insanely photoshopped picture of that band.
And then there's the big big house.
where blood isnt always thicker than water
Then there's the life sized doll, my dad's friend gave me
for my 7th slicing of the cake
Well, of course, you can't miss those designs that have been
on neatly filed clearbooks, Eggplant, Salmon and whatnot
those designs that make you feel like you haven't felt this feeling
those designs on clear cut, (most of the time) short sized bond papers,
and will always be so
And you can never will miss the black eyeliner, sometimes
red, with the streak of blue hair.

But on the other side, chemical formulas and atoms and even smaller
atoms than atoms
and the never ending periodic table and math
caluclations
and those chem books that look like cement blocks, and feel like one too!

Well, but still there's the spraypaint and that canvass of a wall
The apartment that's not bigger than a house
The people who can't fight standing.
The orgs who dont know why I'm there
The course who can't understand why I'm taking it
But of course, you can't never ever miss the photoshop
You could crop and delete and click the magic healing wand whenever

Tolpu

2009-09-21T23:07:00.000+08:00

hindi mo kayang abutin iyong dulo
ng sakit na
inuukit mo sa akin
Okay lang iyan,

lilipas din ang lahat. at dadaloy ulit ng kusa
ang mga salita.
Ngunit ngayon,

makukuntento muna
tayo sa paputol
putol na hinagpis,

parang halatang
pinarata na pelikula.

Lilipas din ang lahat.

09/09/09

2009-09-09T20:27:00.004+08:00

Bakit ako magsusulat ngayon?

Dahil trip ko lang at blog ko 'to. Manigas kayo!

Okay, basagulero ang personality ko today.

But seriously, the reason I feel compelled to write this post is because I just have to have to HAVE to mark this day as a special day, to rival 08/08/08 (may fireworks up in the air ek ek pa kasi noong araw na iyon.)

So,how the hell do I rival that fireworks ek ek, beach crashing day??

MMMmm (xab is thinking, xab is thinking....)

AHA! Sasabihin ko na lang kung ano ginawa ko ngayon! YAY!

Unang remarkable thing na ginawa ko ngayon: Napagalit ko si Choyce, correction-- napainis pala. Ang laki kasi ng bukas ng bibig ko minsan eh.

kitams?

Pangalawang remarkable thing na ginawa ko: Ginawa kong payong ung styrofoam na kasing laki ng pintuan. I mean, (dahil ayokong gamitin ang backspace key), kaming dalawa ni I. Hindi tuloy ako binati nung tao na hindi ko kilala pero alam kong kilala ko siya na palagi akong binabati kanina. siguro, eto iniisip niya. ("Ay, weirdo pala siya, siguro di nya manonotice kung igreet ko siya or hindi.")

Pangatlong remarkable thing na ginawa ko: Actually, eto ung pinakauna, but I'm just too lazy to push the backspace key, so pangtatlo na lang, naganap ito ng 12:00-12:30 AM kaya ngayong araw pa rin iyon. :D: Natapos ko ang PARA KAY B ni Ricky Lee. wait lang, kukunin ko ung libro para iquote.....

At noon na-realize ni Lucas, tapos na siya kay Bessie. At tapos na rin siya sa mga kwento. Pag-uwi ng bahay ay buburahin niya ang file at wala nang makakabasa pa ng mga iyon. Dahil hindi mo puwedeng mahalin ang isang tao nang hindi mo minamahal ang hilaga, silangan, timog at kanluran ng kanyang mga paniniwala. Kapag nagmahal ka'y dapat mong tanggapin bawat letra ng kanyang birth certificate. Kasama na doon ang kanyang libag, utot at bad breath. Pero me limit. Pantay-pantay ang ibinibigay na karapatan sa lahat ng tao upang lumigaya, o masaktan, o magpakagago pero kapag sumara na ang mga pinto, nawasak na ang mga puso, nawala ang mga kaluluwa at ang bilang ay umabot na sa zero, goodbye na.

Pang-apat na remarkable thing na nagawa ko ngayon: Nagbukas ako ng Facebook page! (DAhil ito sa MR and MRS SOM blah blah. No comment.) :D HAHA. At dahil wala pa akong facebook, dahil wala akong tiwala sa sarili ko na matitigilan ko ang mga games games dun, kaya hindi ako nagseset-up ng Facebook. HAHA.

Pang-apat at kalahati (4.5) na remarkable thing na nagawa ko ngayon: Finifill-up ko ung leadership summit form pero hindi ko matapos tapos dahil may tanong na "If you were given 1M,what would you do with it" Explain in 3 lines or less.

4.5 lang yan dahil kalahati yan ng 9, at tinatamad akong maghanap pa ng 4.5 na remarkable na ginawa ko ngayon. Tinatamad ako pilitin ang sarili kong maghanap pa ng 4.5 remarkable thingyies that would rival the 08/08/08. Dahil, hindi talaga eh. :D May fireworks ek ek pa kasi. Hindi iyon supported ng browser ko.

Babye.

Title. Required field.

2009-08-12T17:51:00.000+08:00

If you're going through hell, KEEP GOING.

-some dead guy said this.

Insanely weirdly happy day

2009-07-29T14:40:00.000+08:00

This is one of my insanely gorgeously happy days which is very irregularly placed in the Roman calendar. eekk. I clearly have no idea why a no-gooder non-romantic girl like yours truly would have this insanely pleasant day, so let me just rewind and pause on what is gladly called today.

8:00 : I woke up and decided to "wake wake up" AKA drag my heavy butt to the shower at 8:30 just because i can. :D

8:30 : Dragged my heavily laden butt to the shower and duh, showered, and kinda talked to myself for 10 min. just because i can act crazy. Hehe.

8:55 : Changed into my "motherly" clothes and ran to the dining table to stuff calories down my throat.

8:59 : Realized that my "motherly" clothes are a tad bit too showy, so I hurried up and changed in one of my "curtain" clothes. Hehe.

9:00 : Brushed my teeth and heard my dad's angry-come-down-right-here-this-minute-or-I'll-just-disown you honks. :D

9:02 : Grabbed my bag and went out to the a sunny AND cloudy morning.

9:29 : I was at the top of the bridge near gate 1, praying to all saints, and miserably sweating in my "curtain" clothes that I won't be late for the friggin' Sci10 class that starts at 9:29.

9:30 : I was near one of those stupid U-turn slots that MMDA set up just to piss us off. By this time, I've resigned to the fact that I will BE late.

9:33 : Made it in time to learn that we have a quiz. Darn my life. And if it was any consolation, it was a GROUP quiz. :D

10:30 : in my Math 22 class concentrating every last brain cell to finish the very very looooooooonnnnnnnnnng Theo reading AND not get caught. Just because I can.

11:30 : Lunch. There was a very loud voice in my brain that is very hard to ignore which was ranting on why the tuition was so high yet there was no airconditioning and hardly enough space to eat in the caf!

11:54 : Gloriously eating Pork singigang. AND trying to cram the Theo Reading about JOB.

13:10 : Spacing out in Theo.

14:00 : I watched this girl who was ogling on this girl that was wearing a very short printed white halter dress when her PINK, of all colors ungodly!, underwear was peeking through, and she was runnning around. Gash, the era of Paris Hilton has really begun.

14:10 : Started to realize I HAVE a FRENCH long test! while getting my every-other-day dose of unworldy Math care of Michelle. :D

15:10 : Panicking because I have no idea what Je voudrais means and Comment on dit What is your e-mail address on francais?

15:15 : Walking to my French class while remembering the accents in the e's and the o's.

16:00 : I gave up my salvation and probably my chance of an B on my French test.

16:30 : I claimed my NSTP shirt and got reminded how small and thin I am.

16:31 : I saw Joyce and waited at the cathouse with her. She asked me why i didnt finish my hash brown and i said i was too lazy to eat. :D

16:40 : My dad arrived. Went home

17:20 : One of the perks of not living in a subdivision is that you get to see real people. :) I saw this cute little girl counting her change when she bought something in a sari sari store. and I saw this boy trying on his skateboard on the streets. :D

18:30 : I am blogging about an insanely happy day when I have to do a case in accounting cos sir Yu might make it a quiz. Boohoo.

Okay, What I just wrote might not be especially helpful during these times of high levels of stalk-ity, but I wrote anyhow. Just because I can.

READ, People.

2009-07-25T06:55:00.000+08:00

Student cycle. :D Stolen from lalaluckyme.

Every New Semester:After First Week:After Second Week:Before the Mid-Term Test:During the Mid-Term Test:After the Mid-Term Test: Before the Final Exams:When You Get to Know the Final Exam Schedule:7 Days Before the Final Exam:6 Days Before the Final Exam:5 Days Before the Final Exam:4 Days Before the Final Exam: 3 Days Before the Final Exam: 2 Days Before the Final Exam:1 Day Before the Final Exam:The Night Before the Final Exam:1 Hour Before the Final Exam:During the Final Exam:After Walking Out From the Examination Hall:After the Final Exam, Sembreak:

The Nichelle Apolinario Post

2009-02-16T20:54:00.004+08:00

I was recently invited to Nichelle's 18th birthday bash in REDBOX, trinoma.
haha, at humakot ako ng pagkarami raming pagkain...at iced tea. haha. kasi naman, nahawa ako kay *ahem* kim nocomora. XD. tska nagbilliards. un. hehe. [thanks nichelle!!!]

What i said in my message to her...that she's absolutely gorgeous, was true. She didnt believe so, but she really is, but not in the idealistic way the word runs on.

When I met her, she was this lady, even when people around her were girls. She had her hair wavy, and her eyes chinky, her hair is always in place, and her things, always organized. She gave an air of responsibility, of strictness, of plan---and i didnt have any. [haha].

She hangs around with this group of people who were child like in their manners, though, i know, what they carry in their sleeves were beyond the capacity for children. She had this way, with her eyes to make people feel queasy, guilty--perhaps, she doesnt know that. Thus, people see her as mataray, well, she is. But, once you earn her trust, she's quite friendly and patient[imagine being my friend.haha]..

And what else? I could go on and on and on about her. But, I shouldnt fail to mention her devotion to God. She is active in religious orgs when others would avoid it like the plague. Sometimes a perfectionist, sometimes carefree, she is fun to be with and can be as serious as you want her to be.

Sometimes, people fail to see what’s behind the façade of others, they fret about how they are perceived by others so much that when you put them in a tub of water, they will float [that’s a bad thing. Haha], But, Nichelle, which I’m so lucky, with every exaggeration of the word, to be my friend is someone you don’t get to meet everyday, so much lies behind her mataray-ness, and God is so kind to let me find that.

HAPPY 18^th BIRTHDAY. :P

The Carlo Pineda Post

2009-01-27T23:00:00.002+08:00

on the first day of Christmas.......hAhA. remember this, panda.

He and Vincent used to sing this to me during our lunch time in first year, as soon as he learned that my birthdate is Christmas, they launched into various teasing strategies to make me and Carmen [ehem] laugh. I remember how we used to eat at the canteen, and I was so very, very prim? [back straight, elbows off the table, mouth closed while chewing], oh how i miss acting proper. And, he would make chewing noises everytime I'd chew, and gulping noises everytime I'd drink, so I'd burst out laughing, only that my laugh during those days were very restricted [hand held over mouth tightly], and even that, he'd make fun of.

I think he is the first one to make me laugh during high school. ahaha. and he never ever lost his charm even until graduation. He looks like a panda bear, so cute and huggable, and he wears glasses. He dances very very well too. :D You should see him do the jumping thing cheerleaders like to do.

I remember how he used to scheme (?) aka plot on how to give my GORGEOUS [understatement] bestfriend gifts. haha. :D

I remember how he used to take surveys when he's undecided, and I remember the moon in his blog, and how he likes to post Bob Ong-like posts, and how he's so addicted to movies, and manga. I remember how supportive he is of whatever state of mind I choose to be [serious, crazy, sober, studious].

I remember CARLO PINEDA, studying to be a teacher [understatement], and how I will never forget how he is as a friend [understatement].

The Celine Nicole Palmos Post

2009-01-27T22:47:00.002+08:00

Pretty and Sweet.
and Cuddly.
No, she's not a kitten, but she gives off the impression of one. She's always prim and proper--i think that comes from her being a beauty pageant kind of girl, which i could not relate since I am the exact opposite of poise. haha. , and she's always so...innocent--i think that comes from her being sheltered by her strict parents, that which i can relate. double haha.

She always has too many bags for her own good, especially when our so very very understanding principal or whoever changed our school system that we have to transfer rooms. She always carries water, and a comb, and a face towel. :D She has straight her during fourth year, and her skin is white, and she is chinita.

She is MS. MAKATI SMILE [no, celine, i will not forget to mention this.].

I always remember her as this kitten who likes to play around with a ball of yarn, because that is how she is. But, I will never forget how, like a cat, she faces her life. One of the headstrong girls I've ever met, she refuses to succumb to her heart problem, and continues to study in De La Salle University, and serving as SK Chairman in her barangay. I adore her because she always makes kuwento [conyo ba?] how her doctor told her that she needed to undergo surgery during third year, but, still she finished high school without heeding her doctor's advice--amazing, considering how STRESSFUL [understatement] studying in Makati Science is.

So, there, she is as cuddly as a kitten, yet, like a cat, she never lands on her back. :D

The 5 AM post

2009-01-26T06:26:00.001+08:00

There is something different with being awake when everyone else is asleep. The feeling of peace, of knowing that you would be the first one to see the sunrise, the first one to be hit with the morning breeze. The first one.

There is a charm to be the only living soul in the night, of being like a guardian, a case of dismissed fantasy. There is something to this case of being half drunk, half asleep, half high, half low. It is like being in between the light and the dark.

There is a mystery to it, something that only some understand...

There is something beautiful with being blanketed by the soft light of the night and of the dawn, something like blank ether, something to make the muscles relax, to make the ligaments bend, and the bones creak, something to make the breath exhale, and not inhale for a spare of a second.

There is something unique with being alone, it takes away all noise, and music, it takes away all familiarity, but does not call for indifference. There is this gorgeousness to it, it makes everything so far far far away.

I am an incumbent dream, and nothing but it, I might not post this and the time may be off. But I am that piece of something in the middle of the night, drunk with silence, and comforted by the creaks and the blows of the wind. I am that stranger to the familiar bed, that unknown voice that does not speak. I am nothing......just maybe a hallucination of a girl who is stripped down and bared for all to see.

I am nothing, and I watch words pour out, and hear the scrape of the laddle hit the bottom, like the claws of the cat scratching the wall, and see the morning rise up...and i am gone.

The Armand Joseph Suero Aquino Post

2008-12-29T15:52:00.002+08:00

due to insistent demand, here is his post.

Behind test scores and precious g-tech ink lies a young man who can be a shoulder when times get tough, an ear when no one else would listen, an extra brain cell when everything else is blurry, and a joke when you terribly terribly must have one. Behind his rather wide [ haha ] facade, all there is is a man who would laugh with you, who would be miserable [or at least act miserable] when you are, who would be shocked when you do something totally insane, and who would be gone come exam period [haha].

Armand is someone who can be trusted, despite his often tauntings if he ever gets hold of your secret. He has just the right amount of goodness in him [ hey,ambait ko sau, a]. And, he is very very hardworking.

I remember when we were in second year high school, he ranked first in the over-alls, and I came out second by a fraction of a point. I was crying then [oh, being grade conscious was so far far away], I remember locking myself somewhere, it was bathroom or the fire exit ata, but I remember his concern, it was as if he is to be held responsible for my tears.

And, I remember when we were in fourth year, how he would constantly remind me of studying [ because, i was so totally careless and carefree ]. I remember his inis face saying, "Tsk. Tsk, castor talga, umayos ka kasi." Haha. But, I never heeded his advice, I don't feel regret now for not minding him back then, but what I regret is that perhaps, if I worked harder, if I studied just a little bit, or if I ever studied at all, perhaps we would have a deeper friendship, perhaps I'd get to know about him more, [like how much he really weighs, haha].

But, I didn't take that path, did I. I took the other one. And, things wouldn't change now. But, I know, that whichever path I take, or whichever pit I fall into, he'd always be there, to be a shoulder, an ear, a brain cell, and a joke--and a friend.

Thanks.

The Francine Nicole Villava Post

2008-11-06T18:37:00.001+08:00

Every thing has a story. Well,I'd like to believe so, of course. And, thinking about nonsense for the last 24 hours is certain to get you to that conclusion.

So...I begin to tell our story.

She likes to sing, no, actually, it would be more comfortable to put that into--Singing and she are in constant harmony. Also, Dancing and she are in constant rhythm.

Describing her physically--she has straight straight straight hair that is almost brown. she has white white white skin, and she has long long long eyelashes. That is how I will always picture her. She is not really tall. But, she is one heck of a beauty.

Beauty + Talent = our story.

It may seem unreal how such a talented and beautiful person maintain a friendship with someone like me. Well, I really like honest people in my life,(they make me stay sane), so somehow, we worked it out.

Her values are unquestionable, she is so simple, so....pristine?, to me, she is as smooth as a blank canvas. I like the look and the feel of a blank canvas, it tells everything that there is to tell, but it manages to remain muted, remain silent, remain unseen. [ i should stop these random things from erupting, ya know?]

When she loves, she loves(period). When she cries, she cries(period). Nothing else, nothing more. Just like that.

She is the vocalist of our band. Well, VOCALIST OF THE YEAR, to add. [harhar].

Our story, is well, will soon be in full circle,....very very soon. And I know, that it will hurt,...again. But, if and I both hope it does and it doesn't come, well, let it come. And, I would continue hoping that maybe, perhaps someday...

The Miguel Agustin Francisco Post

2008-10-24T12:05:00.000+08:00

ok.

He doesn't want to be referred to as Miguel Agustin Santa Teresa Francisco, rather, he'd prefer Gus.

So I think, I might need to change this blog post title to The Gus Post.

Haha.

Here goes..

Gus is one of the persons you'd see walking along the street, or along the bridge, or along the corridors, or along any place you'd want him to walk. (he likes walking, he tells me) And, after you see him walking, he'd just be that person walking along that street or along that bridge, or along that corridor, or along that any place you'd want him to walk; he'd just remain that person, well, unless you walk with him.

When we were in high school, I barely knew him because he was quiet and I was not very sociable. But, somehow, when I heard he has this thing for mystics,(i know he'd correct me on this one) I suddenly became aware of how he liked SOME of the things I liked. And so, we became friends.

Being in a school that makes your brain go haywire, your physical state poor, and top it off with the spectacle that we all call teenagehood; you'd really get into situations where you wouldn't know the beginning and the end. So, our movie marathons, our MCDO cravings, and our reading sessions in his house/room (:D) was really one of the "chocolates" I look forward to.

Also, he has this thing for debating, arguing. And, I consider it fun listening to him argue relentlessly to our classmates about nonsensical things; I even take comfort in arguing with him on SOME things relentlessly. (:D)

He made me laugh a lot of times. Because, he has this thing for sounding so cynical about the world and resigned to the fact that he can't do anything about evil, yet he makes it look so easy.

He made proud countless times. He has so much to deal with in his life, and yet, he continues to do those things he wants to do. I admire his courage for doing so. And, he may believe this or not, I look up to him because he doesn't give a care if you don't like him or not, or if you don't like the things he does. He accepts it, and whatever happens would happen. Haha.

He made me cry one time. Because, I thought he was angry, and I THOUGHT that his grounds for being angry was unfair. But then, we resolved it, or rather, the problem resolved itself. (actually, the problem isn't resolved yet, but, he continues to be my friend).

He made me me. :) (err...thats a good thing, right?) Haha.

Oh yeah, have I mentioned that besides "bitching" (debating) , he likes Japanese a lot. And, he is taking up Philosophy in the Ateneo de Manila University. He likes to analyze my behavior, my looks, my expressions, as well as, he enjoys analyzing other people as well.

He dyed his hair, which made him...what's the term? more pogi? :D. And, I absolutely would like to steal his jackets (i think men's clothing is more attractive and stylish that women's).

So, there, that's Gus. And, I would continue walking with him, even though sometimes I would trip along the many bumps of the path, even though the path narrows or widens. I would continue walking with him, because, well, like him, I like walking too.

the nicolo melitante post

2008-07-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

FACT1. When we were in first year, we had this activity, the pass the paper thingie, where you put in impressions on the person.
FACT2.He wrote that I was "mayabang."
FACT3. After he said that, I confronted him.
FACT4. After the "confrontation," I decided that he would never cross my path again.
FACT5.Four years later, he knows me inside out.

See, how life is ALWAYS full of surprises. Nicolo turned out to be the counter part of Miss Carmen Furio, though we only spent one year being friends in high school. Seriously, I thought that he would be one of the persons in the batch who I would never talk to, instead he turned out to be the person I would launch hour-long debates with, marathon iyakan sessions, and the person that I would call in time of life-or-death situations.

This guy is so PATIENT, is so TOLERANT, is so BIG-HEARTED, is so OPEN-MINDED that he could actually endure my BIG MOUTH and my CRAZY ideas.

There was this one time that my tito came so late, mga 8:30 siguro, and our dismissal was 5:40. He was playing basketball with some of his friends, tapos he was all sweaty, about to go home, then he saw me sitting there.

Sabi ko, "Uwi ka na,tol?"
nicoy: "Oo, bkt dito ka pa?
aku: "La pa sundo"
nicoy: "Ah..samahan na kita."
aku: "E, gagabihin ka na o."
nicoy: "D, aus lang. :)" [matching smile na nakakatindig balahibo] haha.

So, he sat down and we began talking, and talking, and talking, and talking until kami na lang ang natira sa school, kahit si sir, wla na. guard na lang tapos kami, even after the mosquitoes grew tired of my legs. Haha.

That was the greatest landmark in our friendship.

There was this one time that I was scared to death. I was in mini stop, and I remember being so afraid, that i was actually breaking into cold sweat, and i was shaking and palpitating. So, I texted him something along the lines of, "Nico, natatakot ako." And seconds after, he texted me. When I didn't reply, he called me.

He was really like my big brother. KUYA! He always looks out for me. And, he takes care of me. And, when you are around him, you could really feel that. That there are no intentions behind his actions, that there is no because or baka or kasi, just, plain caring and love and sympathy. And no, he is NOT GAY.

People would say that he's "pumoporma" but the reason that he has many friends is because we see that he's really true, that he's not demanding for anything in return. That he doesn't want anything except to be friends. From the outside, he looks quiet, emo-ish, ordinary but he actually is extraordinary, the way he pays close attention to you, the way he understands. He's simply amazing (nokia). haha. :D

Siya palagi iyakan ko pag may problema, siya tinatakbuhan ko whenever i feel that i have no more purpose in life, anytime, anywhere.

And, he's RARE because he knows how to LISTEN. Being emotionally unstable, when you just break down because of pressure, he's just there to sit by you, to listen to everything you say, to hear you sobbing. He never judges you. You just have someone to listen to all of your fears, without consequence.

So, I thank you. For everything you've done, for every word you've said, for every word you didn't say. You know what? you always knew what to say and when to say nothing. Thanks for your time, and patience. For your shoulders, for your umbrella, for your load. :) Thanks for the company that you always give me, for never making me feel alone, despite the bizarre creature I am. Thanks for being there, and know that I'll always, always be here, not because you've been with me through everything, but simply because I choose to, nico. Simply because, you're nicolo.

:D

the carmen furio post

2008-06-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

My best friend, my seatmate, the other part of me. HAHa.

Seriously, she was my classmate through the four years of my high school and I am very much blessed to have known her, moreover, to have been her friend. I'm sure all of the people who's acquainted with her would agree when I say that she's a breath of fresh air wherever she is. She's always this light, bubbly girl who's very talented and very mabait and very sweet. That's how everyone would describe her.

But, being her 'best friend,' she's someone that would listen to you, whenever you need it. She's my sounding board and it's kinda crazy how she didn't turn up a lunatic listening to me. :D hehe, she's lucky. She's there when I'm so full of energy, and especially when I'm drained. She's actually like a shrink. And if there's anyone who could predict my behavior as closest as possible, she's it.

But, sometimes, her mabait-ness gets the better of her. People sometimes goes way overboard, they overestimate her. She would cry of how people would get so mean, how they could get so rude. But, in the end, she's always been the one to reach out to her 'enemies', if you could even call them that. San ka pa diba?

And have I mentioned how she looks like? My gad! She's this Filipina beauty, that's always smiling. Her hair is simple and black, parted kinda off-center. Her eyes, is kindof chinita, but not really, parang almond shaped na pinaliit ung height. Her lips are fine, most of the times, dry, like mine (that's one thing we share). She always wears earrings, the last time I saw them, they were white-flowered studs, and she started wearing her necklace-since-birth when we were fourth year. And you know what it looks like when she sashays through the corridors? Amazing. Breathtaking. She's like this angel, with her hair bouncing around her round face, with her eyes complementing the brightness of her smile. Simply, radiant.

And, that makes her one of the crush-ng-bayan of our batch. I've tried counting the guys who would TRY to court her since first year, and until now, I've never finished. :) hehe, maybe that's too much, but seriously, there are a LOT.

You know what else? She's part of the cheerdancing team, because she likes to dance! Also, she's part of her community's choir, because, what do you know?, she also's good on vocals! And if there's a top ten list of persons who people would trust, she'd be topping that list. She's currently taking up statistics in UP-LB, because, what the heck, she's good in math! Maintaining a healthy and BIG circle of friends, singing, dancing, and MATh?! Hah! I'd call her supergirl and it won't even be close.

See, I'm just so lucky we got sectioned together for four years. :)

So, Carmen Furio, my best friend, my seatmate, my secret-keeper.
Carmen Furio, who always keeps the atmosphere bright and always reminds me that there's a silver lining behind every cloud, despite the cloud being a teacher, a friend, a guy, an exam or whatever.

I hope she finds her rightful place in this life, as she continues to influence the people around her with her unforgettable smile.

first day sa pagiging kolehiyala.

2008-06-09T21:29:00.000+08:00

okay. here are the facts.
i am in college. i am an atenista. i am in BS-Management Engineering. i don't know if i'll survive.

hehe. sabi nila mahirap daw ang pinasukan kong course, from the looks of it, mukha nga.. :) and first day na bukas, and i really don't know what i'm feeling, but alot of that is anxiety. hehe. panu ba naman! puro math! kamusta k nman..though one of my favorite teachers in high school teaches math, tingin ko may galit sakin ang subject na un e..hehe/..but, oh well, i guess i'd just have to deal with that..

moving on, it has been ages since i've written here. panu ba nman kasi.......hehe. nevermind, so,, summer vacation was fun and TIRING>we went to guimaras. BEACH! hehe. tapos to ilo-ilo...nakipagbonding sa mga relatives in my dad's side, the last time i went there was like ages ago. ahahah. tapos un. nag-us kami. disney, universal studios, tapos BEACH ulet. so sobrang itim ko na. haha. as in., parang monochromatic brown ung kulay ng katawan ko..tapos an daming tan line..eek! haha. pero aus lang kasi FUN, FUN, FUN!

ang saya saya.

moving on again, another highlight was ORSEM!!!!
grabe, no other university does it like ateneo talaga. haha. as their motto bears, sobrang saya, first day, parang nakapasok ako sa zoo! ung mga TNT aka mga guides/kuya/ate namin ay nakapatong sa chairs, dancing to club music,,,hehe. thanx kuya stiff! and kuya mark! and kuya dardar, our log, hehe. pero nakkapagod din kasi takbo aka MOB aka mobilize. hehe. masya. masya din ung group dynamics, whereas pinagsayaw ako ng banana dance! tska ng pacific ring of fire>>parang ung SOP ko sa CAT. hehe.

and the most fun is the ORSEM night. tumugtog ang PAROKYA!!! haha., dun din ung spongecola, urbandub, chicosci. hehe. atmpib. haha. so un. sobrang saya....

i just hope that i would stay in the program for four years and three summers, hehe. :D, well, God bless to me and to my fellow batchmates..

fourmonthssince

2008-04-16T19:25:00.000+08:00

four months since, and what has happened to me?

err... i dont know. its like its been a long time since everything was ever NORMAL and yet i don't feel so far away four months ago. I can still remember the battle of the bands, the excruciating press works, the procrastinating, the LATE LIST, the bloody exams, the reports, the tears...everything. basically, everyhting that constitues that of the MAKATI SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL.

is that too far away?

banda ng taon.

2007-12-23T00:20:00.000+08:00

TAPOS NA ANG BATTLE OF THE BANDS 07-08. ZEPHYR.

grabe. i was not expecting that. nung battle, after na inannounce ung pangalan namin..parang wala lang. [-_-] as in ganun. tapos ngaun. after sleeping. its euphoric! OMG./ nakatugtog kami? ng ganun? sobrang saya tumugtog dun sa harap and just forget the world. parang nung battle, ikaw lang at ang musika., buti katabi ko pa ung amp..naririnig ko ang tibok ng puso ko..hehe..tapos nun ko lang magexperience na mag-let go completely. nothing occured in me except the beat of the songs..i was in a vacuum where my fingers were the only thing that existed and to which their only purpose is to play the bass.... XD

.. sobrang saya. kasi nman nung umaga ko lang nlaman ung mga chords ng call me when you're sober. tapos isang oras lang namin ginawa. waaaaa..kala ko nga magkakalat kami e...tapos nung isang araw ko lang nagets ung pagsslap..hindi ko nga ata nagawa ng maaus e.....hehehe....kasi sobrang daming trials..walang matinong studio..ung pinupuntahan namin,,kulang ng isang gitara, tapos walng cable, nawawalan kami ng tunog ung mga instrumento, ang sobra kong supportive na parents. -pero nung battle, natuwa ako kasi ung mom ko dumating at inaus pa kami..isa pa un..ung aus namin....tapos.. my hands were sweating, sobrang dulas ng fretboard. kala ko nga di ko magagawa adlib ko e..my gad... sobra talga. as in blessing ni Lord 'to. hay.......

francine.paulina.carmen.christine.mikka.reynerson. --sana maulit. :D

i love this year. tapos nakapagdance-night ako..pero hind ganun kasya kasi may mga hindi ako nasayaw...kulang sa time..hehe. at sobrang nakakhilo pala ung mga ilaw..sobrang memorable...

i won't forget that day. December 21,2007

it ends tonight.

2007-12-13T23:22:00.001+08:00

ISANG BUWAN AKO WALA SA KLASE. KAMUSTA NAMAN? ahehe..kaya ko pa!

nasa imprenta na ung THE MAKATI SCIENCE VISION VOL. XI NO. 1,,,i hope it turns out fine...i really hope so..being a vision staffer is challenging, and really, really hard. it's more than writing, it's more than editing and researching, it's a lifestyle? (WTF?!) ahaha. kidding aside, working for the paper is an experience--that though a lot would disapprove--changed me forever. [gusto niyo try niyo?, nakakatuwa siya... (X.X)]

after all the sleepLESS nights, the CAFFEINE-DERIVED energy, finally, i can at least face another impending life--the life outside the 'pres rum'.

kanina nung english, nag interview, topic namin, "being a vision staffer". thoguht-provoking ung mga questions..sobra.. well, sabi dun, anu ung mga naidulot ng vision sa buhay namin. uhmm..i can say that working for this year's issue is a walk thru an unforgettable road. pinakamasarap sa lahat ung pagdidiscover sa mga hidden na bagay sa mundo. pinakamasaya ung pagkilala sa mga taong alam mong naiintindihan ka. pinakanakakatuwa ung mga biruan, wrestling events, murahan, at discourses, sa press room, lalo na ung pagbibinyag sa amin ng mga weirdong pangaln... (ako nga pala si inday) ahaha.

marami akong nadiscover,...lam niyo ba na maraming ipis sa maksci?..na kakaiba ang maksci pag walang tao..na pinapatay ng 12 am ang mga ilaw sa rockwell., na ang sementong papag ay lumalambot din pala. na leche ang mga antivirus na yan..na pwede maging stove ang isang hamak na rice cooker. na masarap magkape sa madaling araw. na masarap panoorin ang mga studyante ng maksci na magsidatingan sa skul. na may mga gwardiyang masarap pakisamahan. na masarap ang dinuguan sa yoohoo. na baliw ung nagtitinda sa burger machine. na ang saya basahin ung mga libro ni bo sanchez. na asteeg ung ibm na comp ni sir. na may epilepsy si jonatahan. na may walk-in closet kami. na parang orasan matulog si boy at si dodong. na hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang vision...

hay..nakakamiss pala talga.. dodong,,,tama ka......

nu pa ba gagwin ko? sa loob ng press room, kakaiba ang mga tao. as in. marami rin palang nadevelop. lam niyo ba na si nadine at si kevin ay compatible, pero si nadine ay may past kay jonathan pero si jonathan ay crush ni inday, at si kevin ay may pagtingin kay ederlyn, na crush ni aldrich, nugnit bestfrend ni kevin, na si aldrich ay may pagtingin kay sandi, na kklase ni jed, na nadevelop kay mami dodeng sa paghuhugas ng pinggan,..
msaya rin pala magturo ng chem reactions sa table sa harapn ng freezer, ref at cupboard. diba? sosyal. at kahit paulit-ulit tugtugin ang phantom of the opera, hindi ko pa rin pagsasawaan,dahil un lang ung tugtog na nagpapatigil sakin sa paggawa ng articles... mahal ko na ata ang vision. (xhet..ahhehe jwk!)

well., im closing this blog post. but, i'm not closing my life in the press room/....ill be back soon, i hope to catch up....

grabe...nakakmiss!

grr...

your guardian angel

2007-12-01T21:15:00.000+08:00

i have decided to write a story. it is not created out of boredom. because...well, because people who get bored have nothing to do, i always have something to do/... hehe///

pakiusap sa mambabasa (kung meron man): This is a totally, TOTALLY, FICTIONAL story. nothing is based on reality (because reality is always a dream that we decide to believe)

"When I see your smile Tears run down my face I can't replace And now that I'm stronger I have figured out How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one I will never let you fall (let you fall) I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) Even if saving you sends me to heaven It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Seasons are changing And waves are crashing And stars are falling all for us Days grow longer and nights grow shorter I can show you I'll be the one I will never let you fall (let you fall)I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)Even if saving you sends me to heaven 'Cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heartPlease don't throw that away'Cause I'm here for youPlease don't walk away and Please tell me you'll stay, stay, yeahWhoa-oh, stay, whoa-ohUse me as you will Pull my strings just for a thrill And I know I'll be okay Though my skies are turning gray, (gray) I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you FOREVER I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heavenI will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven .."

Trudi has been playing this song for hours, seeming to numb her head, wanting for the words to form voluntarily on her lips, for the notes to reverberate in her every breath, and the beat to echo in her footsteps......she's waiting for kate --her bestfriend.

She's on one end of the red wooden bench, the other end, she left for someone to share the seat with --anyone--even a stranger. someone to watch the leaves from the nearby tree to fall down comically to the pavement. someone to watch the sun fade. someone to sit beside her as she waits for kate, her best friend.

---she's been sitting for exactly 2 hours 31 minutes and 8 seconds, in front of a wise tree, on a red wooden bench with lots and lots of lost vandalisms...she's been sitting at the end of the bench for 2 hours 31 minutes and 8 seconds alone. ...kate would not take long now...her class usually lasts 2 hours 33 minutes and 31 seconds.....she listens to the song. repeat again.

the song has played for 50 times already. its the only song she listens to whenever she's on that bench, its her companion -- to fill the other end of the bench....but for every interval on every repeat of the song, a second of silence fills her ears, and she does not have any companion -- a blank space. her fear....

...

the last song is playing....
" And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one I will never let you fall (let you fall) I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) Even if saving you sends me to heaven It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Seasons are changing.."

there are footsteps..she does not hear....she's inside the song. the footsteps come nearer. and nearer. the shadow is dawning upon her. but her eyes remain closed.... only the pavement, the leaves and the air bear witness to the shadows of the owner of the footsteps...

-symptoms-

2007-12-01T21:07:00.000+08:00

i have 'yourguardianangel' on repeat. i've been eating loads of chocolate. i've been sleeping late. i've been dreaming a lot. and people say i'm different.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

....err...what does this mean?

the rain

2007-11-27T21:38:00.001+08:00

okay.
classes in the elementarty level are suspended because of signal no. 1.
UNFAIR!
how about us?! we look like freakin' zombies.... (well, i look like a zombie.).

anyway, i wonder how i manage to write this post. Hmm... i'm supergirl. yeah! ahahaha...(ang epekto ng palaging naka all-caffeine diet.) I notice that the weather is complementing my emotions--ironically, that is. I mean, if it is not raining, the wind is blowing very hard and clouds litter the sky. It is always dark, the light, always muffled. I wonder whatever happened to wakin' up to a bright new morning...hay... well, i'm not complaining of course. I LOVE THE RAIN.
but, its getting the same these days, waking up to a cloudy morning, sleeping to the sound of the rapping of the rain. it's freakin'me out. -__-

bee-see

2007-11-21T00:08:00.001+08:00

yep.

just when i thought i could never be more busier - suddenly, I am.
i don't regret anything right now, that is the silly decisions i've been making for the past days. like. pretending to know nothing of something that i am so obvious of having complete and extraodinary knowledge of. second, diving into something that will make me hurt and make someone hurt in the end. third, being somebody who is very happy.

honestly, these decisions are based on rash impulses. i am just enjoying everything right now, facing what i should have faced a thousand years ago. people will call me a definite bastard for what i am doing to myself, but then, i am not living for them, am i? i'm living for something, that is, i have not decided what or who yet, GOD, perhaps, GOD, of course! but, in my own mortal sense, i still don't know. i am still waiting for everything to move...

desperateforchangingstarvingfortruthsloserwhereistarted

chasingafteryouimfallingmoreandmoreinlovewith

youlettinggoofalliveheldontoimstanding

herebeforeyoumakememoveim

hanginginamomentherewith

you

guess, that's it. (that was not a love thingy, as you all know. i dont have a heart.)

nyt.

umuulan ata sa labas.

2007-11-14T20:10:00.000+08:00

wow.
I never thought that I could be busier!

hehe. sunod-sunod talaga lahat. grabe.

But, we will play in the b O b! Kahit pasabugin nila ang maksci.

This afternoon, after the whole san sanitation thingy, i was surprised when mam gonzales was telling the whole maksci to leave already. At first, I shrugged off the idea, thinking that its all the -go-home-now speech, but to my error, somebody called maksci threatening that there was a bomb threat. BOMB THREAT!

kamusta ka nman, I think it was because Binay with the other people there that that happened.Anyways, the whole school evacuated. then vision-ers went to rockwell. We ate at jollibee. hehe

un lang nman ngyari ngaun.
:D

Lxchx.

2007-11-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

aww.

c'mon. wx both know that wx are fooling xach other. right?

You don't rxally mxan thosx words. Or, do you? If you do, wxll, I'm sorry.

But, I don't think that I'm stupid xnough to bx a fool for thosx chxxsy linxs. Or, do you? If you do, wxll, I'm sorry. - again.

I only lxarnxd this from you. You sxx, you arx too g******x* xxcxllxnt with this stuff. So, I bxgan to adapt. I am actually thanking you. Without you, I would not be as tough as I am now.

You play with mx, I play with you.
No hard fxxlings, right?

i am seriously letting you affect me

2007-11-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

tears run from my face
and i look up
and i ask
why do i have to feel

the tears drop to the floor
and i look down
and i ask
why do i have to be alone

the tears run deep into
and i sit down
and i ask
why did it have to be you

the tears hit a seed
and i close my eyes
and i ask
is this the end

the tears soon grew
and i open my eyes
and i ask
where are you

the tears soon fall from the leaf
and i touch it with a finger
and i ask
where is my voice

the tears fall to my finger
and i feel it against my skin
like i have felt yours on it
where is it now

then, i answer
it is gone
but it is not in another turn
it is in another

that tear in my finger to my skin
to my skin to my palm
to my palm and to my eyes
then they fall down again

again to the floor and into the soil
to the seed and to the leaf
it goes again and again
in never-ending dream

i thought i didn't want it to end
but yes, i do now, please turn it off.
please, stop the music, i now it's fake

later, blood will fall

November na.

2007-11-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

Some things were good this month. But most of them are bad.

There are some things that we just can't change. We just can't see the other side until we're they're. (hey. that's life, its oughta be tough.) I just don't see the point why i'm making a mess of myself right now. i just don't. I don't get it. Why do i always feel the need to help someone - the truth is, they don't want it. i thought for a second that they are changing. but then, they're not. so. they're not. but, why does it feel so good to make a mistake?

You go inside that room and think for a second that you're sane, but then you go out after the big fire and everything seem so surreal. so weird.

:'C

I'm crying my heart out.
Why won't you see?

magblog ba namn.

2007-11-01T11:18:00.000+08:00

hmm...
how many days na lang natitira.
grrr....sembreak? anu un?

A coherent blog post. I need a coherent blog post.......

umm, merong somebody na naging nobody well, kasi siya rin naman ung may kagagawan nun, so un, naging nobdy na siya. then, that nobody suddenly wants to be somebody again, but i know that that nobody will soon prove to be a nobody again, and now, i fear that he is turning into somebody...niaks..

naintindihan nio?

nevermind. -_-

Damn Regret

2007-10-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

The nightly breeze has caught my face again. I look past what I could see. I look past what I ought to see. And I see nothing. The vagueness of everything suddenly captures me and I am mesmerized to the beauty of white stare. It is alone. It is shining. It is bright. but not too bright to make me see past the nothingness of the night, past the pain, past the misery.

My black hair is caught in midair, played by the chilliness of the night. And it gently batters my face - if only someone would see. I reach out to my face to remove the gentle patter and I smell you. It must be the breeze, the inevitable kissing of the wind to my cold cheeks. But, it is not. It is my hand. Something is wrong with my hand. I near it to my nose, and I smell you and I am once more enveloped in an elated feeling, a feeling unknown to me and to my being, a feeling, I thought I was forbidden to explore. The scent ponders me. It is you, and the one evening we have watched that single star join another. I am in cloud nine. The scent occupies me for a second, and then I lift my eyes from a hysterical trance and I see again nothingness. Nothingness, of which you could have saved me.

I am in cloud nine, but then clouds inevitably turn into rain.

It started to rain.

Invisible to Everyone

2007-10-21T22:48:00.001+08:00

I seem to have nothing to write. OR, I think, I seem to not know which to write.

Let me start with the most obvious cause of my peril - school.

Musta ka naman. Ngaun lang ulit ako nakapagBLOG. Bakit ganun?

KASI, kailangang magaral e.. hmpf..

This is so stupid. I can't write anything useful.....

next time na lang. haay.

hoping to escape
-xab

The Nearness of You by Norah Jones - originaly written by Ned Washington & Hoagy Carmichael

2007-10-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

I am weirded out.

It's not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me, oh no
It's just the nearness of you
It isn't your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation, oh no
It's just the nearness of you
When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me
All my wildest dreams came true
I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you'll only grant me the right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night the nearness of you

I like her piano. And the way she sings it. Its like she's pouring her heart out. If only I have one, perhaps, I could sing like her. :(
haha.
ang corni. :D

spelling check

2007-09-13T20:26:00.000+08:00

Frendi? Rendif? Efrind?

please spell that out for me. because i am at a loss for logic.

It is a word. True
It is a noun. True
It is an adjective. True
It is a verb. TRUE
It is a living person/non-living person. True
It is always there. ? To what extent?
It is not an "it". True
It is greater than love. True
It is self-less. ? To what extent?
It is forgiving. ? To what extent?
It is understanding. ? To what extent?

How do you know someone is your friend. Or just your acquaintance. Or even more shallow than an acquaintance. ???

I have found some "frendi/rendif/efrind" lately. They and me seem to be very different. Yet, I found them to be more similar to me than any other. They make sense. Or is it just my imagination? o.o

When you drop something, you are going to pick up something. Right? So, it would be logical to say the when you pick up something, you are going to drop something. In my case, as I have sought out gold, I lost knowledge. It is really bothering me. Please help me. I need to know why. I need to know. I am in the verge of falling apart and if you, "frendi/rendif/efrind", really know me, I hope you do care.

CREA? CERA? AREC?

.....how do you spell?

bigayan ng card

2007-09-01T10:20:00.000+08:00

uhmm...sooperBLOG leave ako.. pero anyway, IM BACK!..ahahah

today is the dreaded distribution of cards. nalamn ko na mga grades ko, and i have five, FIVE! line of 8s. this is just too ridiculous..err..... pero ok naman siguro.

grr...hirap talga mabuhay!

-xab (pano kaya mamtay?)

aftermath ni EGAY sa buhay ko.

2007-08-17T18:37:00.001+08:00

well. kagabi nung nalam ko na suspended OVERJOYED ako. sobrang OVERJOYED na nagkaroon ako ng writer's block. kamusta ka naman. 1,000 words na lang. na block pa ako. bwisit. kasi naman e. ung guy dun sa PDI- NAPAKADAMOT niya...grr...

anyway... mga 3 na ako nakatulog. I gave up on the essay about one in the morning and decided to go to sleep BUT I saw "thirteen tales" beside my table. this is my postponed book. I picked it up and read. read. read until my eyes gave out. imagine that? 2 oras lang nang pagbabsa e my eyees gave out already? guess, I was more tired than what I felt. Tapos nagising ako mga 9 am. but I didn't really get out of bed until lunch. After brunch, I had CSI marathon. yipee!. again. (Read: the day before UPCAT I watched CSI from 8 am to 8 pm).

I really am addicted. so now, I must resume my essay... 1, 000 words more to go... oopps...1016 pa pala :)

I love the rain!

Mabuhay si EGAY

2007-08-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

Remember...
sa eleksyon.
Solid tayo kay EGAY!

Siya ang pag-asa ng bayan. Ang mga katulad niya ang nagpapabuti ng welfare natin. Lalo na ang mga estudyante. Dahil ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan!

Mabuhay si Egay!

MABUHAY! MABUHAY! MABUHAY!

..............
..................
.....................

well. makikita niyo naman bangag ako. kasi naman kanina pa ako sa harap ng computer trying to complete a 5,000-word essay. tapos dumating ang balita. walang pasok bukas!

hayun, writer's block nanaman ako.

asuus....

wala na akong maisip kundi...

MABUHAY SI EGAY!

(sana lang hindi niya tangayin ang bahay namin, o ang mga poste ng meralco, no brownouts please!)

...

2007-08-10T17:22:00.000+08:00

i wish i had the courage to.

i wish i really have.

....why won't you work?

i thought i fixed you already?...
you stupid ***r*

i have a story for you.

2007-08-10T16:17:00.000+08:00

well. I just wanted to write before I study. (whe...study? yeah, right) so here goes...

I wonder why people are more interested in other people's lives. like most people are interested in Pinoy Big Brother or other reality shows, or in gossip columns, or in shows like "the Buzz" or "Entertainment Central" and the like. Perhaps human beings are just sympathetic individuals(er...tama ba?). Or perhaps they just have all the time in the world to assess other people. Either ways, I just wonder why.

These shows, even if they are reality shows, or articles based on "sources" do not guarantee 100% truths, right? Why? because we interpret stuff differently. So, why do people flock to hear other people's lives, when they have their own messed up life?

I think it is because a story is more interesting than a truth. In most instances, our own life is the only real story that we know because we own it; we live in it. Except, of course, in the case of amnesia, or such disorders.

Is it that our lives are boring that we crave for something different? That we are eager to sacrifice a story (tragedic or comedic) than to face the cold truths? Are we afraid of our own lives? Of what it might bring?

A story is like a fabric, you can decorate it, you can cut it, you can do alterations in it, and make it all look pretty to you. And you can wear it to conceal the truth,because it is more intricate than a cemented mural. People won't notice the cemented mural, though it depicts death, blood, tears or joy, laughter and cheers. they won't take a second look, when they see the fabric that you've woven. So...

Why, bother?

reverse.psychology

2007-08-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

o haha. psychology daw o. kamusta ka naman?

napansin ko lang kanina habang vacant period namin (aka TLE) [err..we should get a lot of those vacant stuff] kasi naman, minsan ay may sariling mundo ako diba? ...I think too much, way TOO much...kaya bigla na lang tumakbo sa isip ko ang reverse psychology.

PATTY! introduced this topic to me when we were in grade school (in the fields of CSA) *sigh*. Anyway, some people try to change the truth so that they may be able to see results. ? I don't know if you grasped that concept pero, it's more of acting the opposite for some reason. basta. un na un

Well, reverse psychology is sometimes useful if your subject is not a shrink-in-training. pero if not, you better think twice. Never ever assume that you know a lot. Never assume that you can twist and change reality for others. kasi. everything might go FIRE. BOOM, BABY

the term that describes the outcome where advocacy of one course of action persuades another person to do the opposite.

reverse.psychology.reverse.psychology.reverse.psychology.reverse.

exampleS:

Xab's illusory brain: Don't you get it? The facts are all clear. Tell the person everything.

Xab: But, it will destroy everything.

Xab's illusory brain: Fine, don't tell.

Xab: Ok, fine I will. (-_-)

Seriously, this is only a teeny weeny part of my very complicated chain of thoughts. But, this happens all the time. Reverse. psychology.

Oh well, i don't think that i brought up a coherent post. anyways, this is my blog so...why bother?

half-eaten pizzas and half-drunken fraps.

2007-08-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

my.forbidden.addiction-cause of my idiosyncracy

closer.CLOSER.CLOSER- (O.O)

Coffe Jelly Frappucino-grande. I saw it. Staring at me. Its cold stare seemingly endless, melting me. making me fall. faster.faster. Oh, the irony of it. I could not take it. I had to. I just had to. I walked inside. Ordered. -Grande. I could not believe myself. my mischief. Then, like an alarm, the doctor's stern advice flooded my mind.

"No coffee, or caffeine-even Starbuck's"

I knew it. But, I just had to have it. So, I did, and now, Im suffering in pain.

Why? How?

After extreme pleasure, comes extreme pain. It is one of the many ironies in my life. When I sip that angelic taste of venom, that small moment of extreme happiness, what follows after is immeasurable pain, down in the long lanes of my digestion. It is so wrenching that the only cure is to take another sip to mask the pain. So, I take another, and another, and another. Then, I run out of antidote, and I have to take that pain, face that suffering. it is like a burning rod, going through my stomach. A gaping hole. A bottomless pit of pain.

but why do i suffer this when God has given me free will? Well, because i am stubborn. So, stubborn. I may be one of the most stubborn creatures in this world. When I believe that it is not, it will stay NOT. Case closed. When you have distrusted me (is there such a word?), you will remain as such. No more turning back. When I desire to, I'll find a way to be there. My stubborness has led to a lot of misgivings but I still pursue my hard-headedness. MY HARD HEAD=TROUBLE

Oh, the irony of things, why must i be happy, just to suffer again. why must i be quenched, when i must thirst again. why must i trust, when i must be betrayed. why must i find, when i would lose still. The irony of things. The forbidden heavens. The misery of music. The yin and yang.

...It is the balance of life. It is the way of life. It must remain. Oh, the irony...

...asus, ang drama. XD

after friday the 13th

2007-07-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

hay. o buhay.
ang daming problemang dumarating.
uhumm..tingin ko..magiingles ako sa post na ito..
uhum..

School - according to Merriam Webster Dictionary:

an institution for teaching and learning

It is composed of learning people and learned people. The system of a school depends on two parties. Right? For it to achieve its main purpose, which is to educate, it must have a mutual relationship between those two parties. The students and the teachers. There is a third party which assists the accomplishment of the goal of the school but it would not be discussed here.

The system of the school is that the teachers teach, while the students learn. But sometimes, the students teach and the teachers learn. Either way, the definition is still reached. One learns, while the other educates. But, as all things in life are not simple, a simple system like that becomes complicated, for not only does a school include one relationship, it includes a LOT. a whole network. (parang friendster and effect)

Another thing about school is that for most people it is their second community after home. Therefore their being is usually drafted there. Thir principles, beliefs, values (VALUES!) are molded there. ESpecially in maksci. You stay in school for 12-13 hours. When you go home you spend approximately all of the remaining hours for homework or for ranting about homework. So that constitutes your 24 hours a day.

What i am trying to point out is that school is very important. Like that is so cliche. but though it is hell, (and i think worse than that) it is a community and it is supposed to work like that. It is supposed to Educate someone. WE learn a lot from school.not from those books, but from the people we become involved with.

Our past shapes our present and our present becomes our past that shapes our future. The people in our memories. The people that affected us and that we affected - not the facts we learned. Are the ones that we will carry for the rest of our lives. They are responsible for who we are. Therefore, I conclude, (with the use of my careless logic) that if we disrespect the people now, we are disrepecting ourselves, or more importantly, we are disrespecting or stunting the future that we may have. now, this post will then lead to fate and cosmic churva. but I do not want to write about that.

So, this is the end. of the post. after Friday the 13th.

Ang Epiko ng Pag-ibig

2007-07-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

Wala akong credible na karanasan sa paksang napili kong isulat ngunit marami at umaapaw ang karanasan ko sa mga pagsusulat ng lab letter, mga umiiyak na dalaginding, mga chords at tabs ng love songs, mga maiingay na tilian ng mga namumulang babae at mga overly cheesy kowts sa telepenong pinangkakaskas sa sahig.

Ang epiko ng pag-ibig, simple lamang ang magmahal. isang suliranin lamang ang nakaatang -- ang makasama ang iyong sinisinta. Ngunit dahil hindi lamang dalawa ang populasyon ng mundo, ay nagiging isang nobelang pagkahaba-haba ito, mas maikukumpara mo ito sa mga sobrang nakakapagod subaybayan na teleserye ng aking mga tita. Minsan ay nagpakasal na ang bida ay may darating na namang goons na maglalagay ng bomba sa simbahan at papasabugin ito. well, direktor at iskriptwriter nga naman ang may sala dito, pero tingin ko ang kumpanya ng telebisyon ang dapat sisihin!.haha

Ang epiko ng pag-ibig. Simple lamang -- mahal kita --. O diba, tapos na? Pero dahil sa mga cheesmosa at cheesmoso, mga ibang goons at goonses, nagkakahiwalay ang mag-irog at napapariwara. at sa dami na nga tao sa mundo ay hindi mo na tuloy masilyan ulit ang iyong kasintahan.

Ang epiko ng pag-ibig. Mahal mo ako pero hindi kita mahal. Mahal ko ang best friend mong may mahal ng iba. Ang mahal ng mahal ng bestfriend mo ay may mahal na iba. O di ba ang mahal? Maari namang hindi best friend, maaring isang complete stranger. pero, sadyang mahabng itype ang complete stranger kaysa best friend di ba?

Ang konklusyon ng epiko ng pag-ibig. Hindi ito matatapos. makakaabot na sa googolplex ang bilang ng 'mahal' ay hindi pa ito matatapos. Maraming mga solusyon ang puede, isa-isahin natin.

Una, puede mong patayin ang mga tao sa mundo upang makita mo ulit ang dalisay na pag-ibig -- ang pinakbrutal at pinakaagresibong parann. (mass destruction ba naman) Ngunit may problema, paano kung hindi mo siya kilala?, baka makapatay ka lang at mauwi sa wala -- ok lang naman un dahil ang overpopulation ang main cause ng mga problema natin ngaun. Tingnan mo, pati ang maling family planning ay nakadadagdag sa mga suliranin ng pag-ibig.

Pangalawa, puede ka namang pumunta sa manghuhula, para maipakita sa iyo ang iyong someone, tapos hahagilapin mo na lamang siya. May problema din, paano kung ang sinabi ng manghuhula ay nasa Norway? Napakagastos naman nun, pero kung marami ka namang pera, why not, daba?

Pangatlo, puede ka rin namang kumatok sa mga pintuan ng siyensya, genetic engineering. ngunit, hindi pa ito tested. at ako ay against sa cloning o manufacturing ng humans kaya hindi mo ito puede gawin. :)

Pang-apat, mag-sun ka. Maramikang katext dun, marami kang makikilala. kaya ayun, parang speed-dating. pero may problema, hindi kayo puede magpakasal thru text diba? kaya kailangan mo siya makita, paano kung ang iyong someone sa text ay kamukha ni -------? O gad! wag na lang di ba? Tska magastos din ito, pero kung maraming kang pera, why not?

Panglima - tinatawag ko din itong ang paraan ng mga dakila. Ang paghihintay. Ang paghihintay ang pinaka magandang paraan upang makita mo ang dalisay na pag-ibig. Bakit kamo? Dahil sa paghihintay mo ay naiimprove mo ang iyong sarili, napreprepare mo ang puso mo para sa kanya o sa Kanya, kung talagang ikaw ay dakila. Ang paghihintay kay someone ay hindi magastos, hindi nakakatakot, hindi mapagmadali, ang masam lamang dito ay time-consuming. Pero ang paghihintay sa dalisay na pag-ibig ay base sa kaisipang ang ating buhay ay pinamamahalaan ng isang napakagandang isckript. at nakasulat si someone sa isa sa mga chapters nito.

Ngunit sino ba naman ako para mang-husga? Kahit saan man o kahit kailan man mo nakita ang dalisay na pag-ibig na iyan, pag-ibig pa rin iyan, ineng at inong. Alagaan mo, kahit na sigurong hindi ka sigurado at baka tagilid ang kalabasan, isipin na lamang na isang chapter closer ka na kay someone.

haay..ang dakilang epiko ng pag-ibig..ang corni.

one-hour

2007-07-13T21:20:00.000+08:00

I only have an hour of sleep kanina. pero that's ok, I am in desperate neeed to update this blog, actually i've come up with 3 topics..which i'll be writing tonight, since i don't know when the next time would be..

updates sa buhay ko:

malapit na ang mga pressworks sa vision.
maraming mga kaganapan na i prefer not to put here.
wala akong tulog.
addicted ako sa chocolayt at treadmill.
i am always in a dreamlike world.

un lang muna...

iskool

2007-06-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

One thing scientists do know: Sleep is crucial for survival in mammals. Extended sleeplessness can lead to mood swings, hallucination, and in extreme cases, DEATH.

Mag-aral ka sa maksci pare. My classmates know why. Yan, proven na yan. Pwede kang mamatay sa hindi pagtulog. Hmmm...pwede ko pa lang isama sa listahan ko un.

Un ang buhay ko nung first week. Walang tulog!. Kung ganito ang buhay ko sa fourth year, ewan ko na lang. pano ba naman mga tao kasi akala nila sa kanila na lang umiikot ang buong mundo at gusto nila na palagi kang masaya. At magiging isa kayong happy family. Leche.

Well, as you can read, I am really pissed. Because Im so tired. aww..sorry y'all im just angry. Samahan pa ng problema ko. Grr... sige..kain muna ako ice scream bka sakaling mawala 'to...

last-day-of-freedom-before-school post

2007-06-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

As the title suggests, I wrote this post in dedication of the freedom I had this summer and of the freedom I will be having in the next schoolyear (which is negligible, hehe).

Tomorrow is the first day of my last high school year in Maksci. *sigh* Time flies by so fast. I don't know what to expect. But, I'm exhilarated by the fact that I am classmates AGAIN with my ever reliable bestie-Carmen. hehe. I've survived and I still will. yeah! I just hope it won't be so stressful as it was last schoolyear.

I'll tell you about the past two months of my given freedom (bear with me, people). Well, there were a lot of things I missed this summer which were replaced with the tons of things I didn't expect to do.

Missed this summer:

The Beach-we didn't have the chance to go to the beach this summer or any resort. First, we were planning to spend some time in Batangas but it didn't happen because of that darn meeting. Second, we planned on having a family outing in Laguna, but it didn't happen because my lola had an accident. (but, good thing it wasn't that big). So there, I was not able to swim this summer. :'(
Stay in Bulacan- this is kind of a good one since I'm getting tired of that place. Every break we stay there to help in our business there. Sometimes we go to Sapang Putik, this is where my mom's parents live (weird name, but it was given such because when it rains, the roads turn to mud). This is the undeveloped side of Bulacan that I know. There are forests there. Lots, lots, of trees. No heaters. No internet. Just miles and miles of farm land. I always, ALWAYS celebrate my birthday there.
Play the guitar-I was not able to pick up the guitar even for a while-someone out there would kill me for this. Now, my fingers are so stiff argh. I was busy with a lot of stuff (look for next list)
Cook-when summer comes, I usually bake and cook. The kitchen is my tambayan at home. But this summer, I only got to bake a pitiful coffee cake (but it was YUMMY) and I learned to cook sinampalukang manok, which is my favorite, favorite Filipino ulam.
Meet with the band-this is related to the third activity. Because our band is composed of diverse peoples, we didn't have the chance to pursue our pending goal. awww, too bad.

Things that caused me the 'missed this summer list':

Cadet Officer Candidacy Course (summer training) -sure, it took only one week but it took five precious days! Though, I was really thankful of that and I didn't expect that I would finish it what with the many complaints of my mom against it.
Unit Meetings-Of course, we graduated, next, we have to be responsible officers, right? So there, the aftermath of our tedious training. Unit meetings. Of course they were fun, every time is a carefree time with them. I get to shout my lungs out. I get to play around and run, which I would never, ever dare to do in public. hehe
Chemistry Camp-It was only two days. But those were also precious days!
Lots of visits from relatives-the occasional kamustahan come to mind, we got a lot of visitors this summer. I don't know why bu tI was quite happy that I saw my lola and lolo from my dad's side. They were not able to come in time for my last birthday.
Shopping-Our house isn't completely done yet, so there were some trips to the mall for furniture, or books for the library, computer hardware and such.

So that, was my summer. Freedom for two months. TV for two months. Carefree blogging for two months. In a sense, it was fun but I am thinking this is my last kiddie summer in my whole life. Next summer, I 'll be in college and who knows, I might be taking extra lessons in summer so i could graduate early. Who knows what would happen this school year? Would my parents still allow me to attend pressworks? Would they consent to band practices? Would they say yes to my CAT-related activities? *sigh*

I wish that this year would be a gradual turn for my life, so unlike what happened last year. That way, there would be less chances of frustrated dreams and caffeine abuse. teehee :)

ice cream

2007-05-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

It rained today again. Aww. I wonder why most of the time I feel down because of the rain. Perhaps because I'm a sunny person. O.O . But on some rare occasions, I adore the rain. I particularly like the way the raindrops splash on car windows. It starts with this silvery wisps like thread then when the it gradually becomes heavy; I like the way they slide of the glass. ya, i know weird.

The rain started while I was on my way home - commute!. teehee. I rode a bus on my way home - my third time. thank goodness, the rain wasn't that heavy. When I got home, I found out that there was ice cream on the fridge. yay! It was this coffee flavored with CHUNKS of chocolate. So, I spent the rest of the afternoon with ice cream!.

Oh, btw, today was the last day for the review classes. next,next week....would be the start of the last high school year.. :((

wish me luck.

choo-day

2007-05-24T18:15:00.000+08:00

well, we went to antipolo church..I think it's part of a family devotion or something. O, ya...we're kinda religious. anyways, we were planning on buying the rest of our school stuffies today but we left the house at 10 and our summer class starts at 3 pm. So, basically, it was just like church and food.

My mom planned that we eat lunch in Tiendasitas but my father said it was so HOT! there. He easily reacts to hot weather. So we went to this kiddie place instead, just beside Tiendasitas. It was nice, though we went there for my younger brothers. We ended up eating on Teriyaki Boy, my second time to check out the place. As a kid, I hated both Japanese and Chinese dishes because i didn't like the smell. So, I was worrying that I might get sick or something. I ordered California Maki since it was the only dish that I was familiar of. My mom ordered other dishes with funny names, one dish was pieces of mushroom wrapped together by bacon. And after we ate there, I am totally craving for Japanese cuisine. I ate everything, well....not everything but a little bit of everything. And I must tell you, there were a lot of everything. I loved the mushroom wrapped in bacon and especially the rice, I think it was called sukiyaki?..Anyway, I am definitely, definitely eating Japanese food again!.

Mmmmmm...what else, this afternoon was a rainy one. Though not the roof-wrenching kind of rain but the like-snow-gloomy kind of rain. It was pretty depressing. So after the classes which consumed one hour of my remaining precious summer time, I dug on food!..Yay! and TV..haha..I can be a total couch potato at times like these and I am totally enjoying the rare stress-free moments of my damned life. teehee :)

please react to this...

2007-05-18T19:54:00.000+08:00

Xab, your eyes say you're Naturally Stunning

Fresh and laid-back, you take the same approach to your makeup as you do to life: Easy does it. We'd guess you're a no-muss, no-fuss kind of gal who doesn't like to spend too much time in front of the mirror. But that doesn't mean you still don't love to look great. You just do it in your own effortless way.Truth be told, it's your grounded nature and straightforward sensibilities that make you so attractive. When someone looks you in the eyes, they immediately sense your integrity and down-to-earth spirit. And what could be more beautiful than that?

http://web.tickle.com/tests/eyesreveal/result.jsp

kailangan pa ba ng title?

2007-05-08T18:52:00.000+08:00

nibblets! she likes him. she LIKES him!.. o gad!. she is really, really, in LOVE with him. what the heck am I going to do? I knew this was coming!. I just knew it. The way, she looks at him. The way she talks to him. The way she warms up whenever he's around. nibblets!.

What am I going to do now?!

I wish it had never ever happened!

review.sessions

2007-05-08T18:45:00.001+08:00

well, i am attending college entrance test reviews for my college!.. shuck.. C-O-L-L-E-G-E ....teehee :)...It's ok. Almost the whole of roentgen is taking review classes in acdemic one too. so, i'm pretty comfortable with the classes. and today was the first time i ever fully understood what my teacher was ranting for a year!.

I'm on my way to college. Well, I'd like to go to Ateneo but they don't have the accounting course and I'd like to take that..aww :'( Perhaps, I'll consider UP? And besides, it is the best university here in terms of its academics, right? haha..well, wherever college I might get into, perhaps, i'll be able to survive it....

wedding day

2007-05-05T12:55:00.000+08:00

today is May 5, the wedding of one of my titas. Well, the house is hell. Everyone is fussing about. I woke up to the smell of foundation and bouquet. Well, the wedding starts at 2 pm and last minute preparations are being done. The car is clean. The bridal entourage is ok. They all look ok to me.

I am happy for the couple since they had a very, very long engagement. (Read: started when I was about 5?). Ya, kinda like that. But wouldn't want to go to their wedding. I want to stay home so I could have the house all by myself. haha. HAHA.

Actually, I look up to their relationship. I wasn't planning on writing this but, oh well, this is my blog nyway. heh. I also dream of having a long engagement. Perhaps I'm all that old-fashioned and crap but heck I do want to have that kind of relationship. One of my dreams is to have only one boyfriend and he'll be the guy that I'm going to marry. Potek!. i know it's weird, and stupid and impossible. but that's what I want. potek talaga.

.:aww:.

2007-05-02T20:45:00.000+08:00

*sigh**sigh*..

buong pamilya ko nanonood ng basketbol. Sinusuportahan team namin sa liga. Too bad I have to stay home..cause I'm darn sick!. Aww. Well, kung hindi ba naman ako adik sa tsokolate e. hindi ako magkakatonsilitis. :( galing pa naman kaming laguna kanina tapos nagswimming pa ako. see. pasaway talaga ako. kya ngaun i have to stay home. Aww. I'll miss the game. di bale 3 games pa naman yata sila e...

Medyo nakakinis ngaung araw. pero yoko sabihin ung dahilan kase baka sugurin ako dito..hehe..well, tinatamad akong sundin ung pinapagawa sakin ni khorps. sabi naman niya deadline nun sa monday pa e..tska tulog muna ko...aww...huhu..sakit talaga ng tonsils ko... :'(

tapos na ang summer camp

2007-04-27T21:21:00.000+08:00

Well, today was the last day of the science summer camp in de la salle university. It was a two-day program. Yesterday, we took an overview in Biology and Physics but I wasn't able to attend the Physics activity because I needed to go to school. (read: busy mom) When I got to my beloved Maksci (sarcasm? you decide), my mom was waiting. Then, she left after she signed the whole contract stuff. So the next steps was left for me to accomplish. After the enrollment fussines, I proceeded to our first meeting as officers (naks! level).

Midway into the meeting, I was beginning to lose myself, depression settled in..until this moment. I feel like killing myself. I didn't enjoy that day much. So, when I woke up today, I was still feeling really morbid. I tried to keep my energy up today. Umm..today we talked about the Graph theory and statistics in math, then we proceeded to chemistry. We made several experiments. It was ok. The culminating activity finished at around 6-ish. Got home at arounnd 7:30-ish...

i.am.not.happy.but.who.is

2007-04-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

oh yah!. I really am not. Do I look happy? Oh no!.

My life is full of freaky stuff.

overdosed.with.cadbury

2007-04-24T16:53:00.000+08:00

Yup, I am full of chocolate. I ate two bars straight. Is that healthy? O.o Anyway, while I was munching, this thought suddenly entered my brain somewhere.

Can you ever get used to the world that nothing ever amazes you anymore?

Yah, you must think I must be completely crazy and I need medical attention right now. Well, I thought so too, a while ago but I explored that thought .

I remember my youngest brother, Josh, when he was about one year old. I put a piece of scotchtape on his leg with one end free. He picked it up and it stuck to his fingers. He removed it with his other hand and it too stuck on that hand. I was laughing (read: evil sister.haha). But he didn't seem to be annoyed, the thing seemed to amaze him. He was smiling as he was studying the object. Always picking it up with another hand then the other, then the other. It always stuck.

He was so thrilled of the scotchtape. Well, it was just a scotchtape. I know for a fact that it is very handy in torn papers and such. And when I think of it, it never amazed me that much or so I think. Perhaps it is because that I am growing and getting used to everything that I just accept and accept without questioning, without asking, without appreciating. I don't want my life to be like this because if I do get used to everything, if nothing could ever interest me again, then, how am I supposed to learn?!

I think that that is the reason that adults are so very boring, not all but at least most of them. They don't appreciate anything. They concern themselves with stuff like papers and documents and checks and such. It seems idiotic to not be amazed by the world anymore. I don't want to be like that. But I can never go to neverland, can I? I can not stop the natural process of changing. I think for now, I will be satisfied with the solution that I never stop asking questions, that I never cease to be amazed to things that I can percieve or not.

doktor.paybh

2007-04-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

I was watching myx yesterday and this song happens to be in the hit chart. It's more of a pop kind of song, more of hip-hop and r&b. I'm not really in that genre but this song reminded me of doktor paybh. Doktor paybh is the person who made my life sensible by wrecking it. Doktor paybh is so ugly. haha. Doktor paybh made me realize that creatures like him are stupid, selfish losers that don't deserve anyone's attention. I am not going to elaborate what doktor paybh did. Though doktor paybh hurt me, I still hope that doktor paybh changes. Toodles doktor paybh!

Over it by Katherine Mcphee

I'm over your lies,and I'm over your games.

I'm over you asking me,when you know I'm not okay.

You call me at night,and I pick up the phone.

And though you've been telling me,I know you're not alone.oh..

That's why(your eyes)

I'm over it(your smile)

I'm over it(realize)

I'm over it

I'm over..

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it..I'm over your hands,and I'm over your mouth.

Trying to drag me down,and fill me with self-doubt.oh..

That's why,(your words)

I'm over it(so sure)

I'm over it(I'm not your girl)

I'm over it

I'm over...

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it..

Don't call,

don't come by,

ain't no use,

don't ask me why,

you'll never change,

there'll be no more crying in the rain.

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it..I'm so over it....I'm over it....

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it.

Friend?

2007-04-21T23:47:00.001+08:00

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen
Or lend a shoulder to cry on
You're there through thick and thin
Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

hands

2007-04-21T23:43:00.000+08:00

do you still believe in these quizzes? I don't...I just am TOTALLY addicted to them!!!

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Idealistic and dreamy, you tend toward the impractical. You have a knack for getting yourself in sticky situations.

Brainy and intelligent, you are intellectual to the point of being incomprehensible.

Your emotions tend to be well though out. You're willing to wait out a bad situation, and you're never too quick to act.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

cynicality-er....what?

2007-04-21T23:30:00.001+08:00

You Are 48% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist.
You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How Cynical Are You?

observant.daw.ako

2007-04-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

Your Observation Skills Get A B

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time)
And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

dig.this.

2007-04-21T23:20:00.000+08:00

something's wrong with blogthings.com's system....seriously

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Famous Dancer.
Where You Lived: France.
How You Died: The Plague.

Who'<"http://www.blogthings.com/pastlifegenerator/">Who Were You In a Past Life?

adik na sa blogthings

2007-04-21T23:19:00.001+08:00

You Are 18% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Values ala Mam Ballados

2007-04-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

Your Values Profile

Loyalty:
You value loyalty highly.You're completely devoted to your friends and family.Even if they totally screw up, you're still there for them.Just make sure they're equally loyal to you!
Honesty:
You value honesty highly.You're unflinchingly honest, even when it's not easy.For you, integrity is very important - in yourself and others.People may not always like what you say, but they know they can trust it.
Generosity:
You value generosity a fair amount.You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"!
Humility:
You value humility highly.You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better.You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low.
Tolerance:
You value tolerance highly.Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

graduation

2007-04-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

shucks...haha..officer na ako!!!.....wahahahahhaha......napakasaya ko ngaung araw na 'to.......

Well, the day started in a very awful way but it is something personal, so I won't mention it here. I arrived at school at 8 am. I was supposed to be there at 6 am. lol. I was late because I went to gate three to pick out our name cloth and I was so stuck in traffic. So when I got to school, I saw my parent car. Wow, they're early, I didn't expect them to show up in the next thirty minutes or so. So, I went inside the school. Then, I began to panic because Pong (haha) told me there was something wrong with the 'stage letters'. Crap! their early. So, I beagn hunting for open internet shops. I was running around poblacion, literally .I finished at around 9..double crap..

When I went back to school. My buddies were putting on their BDA, then suddenly, I cried. I didn't know what the hell made me do that but tears suddenly cames treaming down my cheeks. I am guessing it was because of pressure, fear, excitement, regret; I know I'm not even close. Then, I got dressed, in time for the ceremony. The ceremony was ok, the best actually but I didn't get to enjoy it because I was feeling really, really depressed. The best part was the turnover ceremony. (grabe!) Anyway, my designation is Administration.

After the graduation, bonding time! We,including our senior officers laid on the stage. Sir Barry turned off the lights. We made our tummy, legs, end every inch of each other pillows. Music was playing from Sir Nieva's iPod, and we were just there..enjoying the moment. Five people made me their pillow...haha...Paula, Rea, Mam Hansel, Mam Marjorie, Paulina. I was hugging pau. The feeling of being there was so exhilarating, truly remarkable. It took a lot of my depression away. Then, Sir Bennette arrived from Wendy's carrying a bunch of fries. Then our lunch came. Thanks to Sir Barry, Queen, Corps..haha, Ivan, kevin, and Sir Rei from KFC..

After we ate. We had games, spearheaded by Sir Bennette...lakas talaga niya mantrip! First was trip to jerusalem!...I was kinda squashed...then the dancing part.....It was sort of a contest for people. After them, Sir Rei ordered me to dance but I turned him down...regret.regret....Because I just don't dance....It was his last order and I didn't fulfill it..aww...regret.regret... :'(

Then we headed to Denjo's house...corps.kor.core.cohre.chor.kohr.kohre.....Denjo is our Corps Commander, kaya celebrate ulit sa bahay niya.We left school at around 3:30 pm before we went to his house, we stopped by Vct to rent "The Omen"...a suspense flick. So we arrived there at around 4. We watched the first Disc then we ate..haha..ice cream and etc. The eating part was fun, Sir Nieva kept teasing Kim, and we were all laughing. Well, napagtripan din naman ako. pero watever.

Anyway, after that some of the senior officers left. Then we watched the second disc, not really scary..more of shocking...Paulina, Sir Rei, Alen, Paula and bei-bei wanted to stay for another movie but I had to go. I left with Kim and Rea. korhe accompanied us on the way home. I forgot to mention Joshua, korhe's younger brother. He was five......la lang..sama namin siya magbonding...hehe......

over-all...today was fun-beyond words...just don't know the things that i am going to encounter as an officer, bet it's going to be harder...but i bet i'll make it through. Because COCC made me realize that I can do unimaginable things...haha....byie...

another.one

2007-04-14T23:00:00.001+08:00

You Are Very Honest

You tell it like it is, no matter what.
Even if the truth hurts, you'll dish it out.
And while some may get hurt by your honesty...
At least everyone knows where you stand!

How Honest Are You?

said.i'm weird.i.think.so.too

2007-04-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

today

2007-04-14T22:01:00.000+08:00

i wonder what shall I write about?

Well, today I finsihed a bottle of Martinelli, it's non-alcoholic but it makes me kinda bubbly. I spent the whole day reading my second novel this summer. It's the second novel of Libba Bray, I just love her.

I just finished watching happy feet, I rented it. It was really nice and now, I am kinda addicted to penguins. haha . Anyway, I miss the people from school and the freakiness of third year.

I remember sacrificing my sleep just to get things done because I am just too stubborn. I am so stubborn that I won't stop until I finish, until I find out - whether I fail or win. You might call me a spoiled brat. Well, sometimes that's true but I don't hurt people. Well, I don't hurt them intentionally.

I think that's my problem, I think too much - of others. I remember one time, I had to lie, just this one lie to save everything I loved. Well, at that time I thought that it would and it was the only way, no other way. But it failed me. I kept it and it failed me, that one lie. It didn't solve anything, it ruined everything in fact. That lie just hurt the very things that I was trying to protect....

But, that's over, I'm now a wreck and that stuff is a broken mirror. I can't pick it up anymore. I'll have to fix myself. hehe. The problem was that I saw the only way, the easy one, I jumped onto it. I thought about it and acted upon it, and I lost....to those people, sorry. smileys, everyone. :)

.prom.

2007-04-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

this is my prom post. It's been a month, the date in the picture is wrong, got this from Armand. I like this pic because it sums up my prom experience. To me, that night was very sparkly, very big, very elegant but it was all a lie. ask my best friend the reason because I am not talking about that in this post.

My junior prom experience:

I woke up.
I took a bathe.
I ate a heavy lunch.
I went to the salon.
The gay person put on too much make-up on me, I felt that I was wearing someone else's.
I got home and got dressed in my "ball" gown (uck) and heels (double uck).
When I saw myself in the mirror, I didn't believe that that was me.
I waited for Denjo, he was called my date.
When he came, we went to the navy clubhouse; my mom drove.
I ate fruit- flavored cheerios in the car.
When we arrived, we were not late.
Then, our table was changed, so we had to sit at the back.
The turn-over ceremony happened and unfortunately nobody's hair was set on fire with the candles.
Then the dancing happened.
The crowning of the prom winners.
Pictorial in the white room.
More dancing.
It was over at midnight.
My mom picked us up.
We went home.
It was about one in the morning.
We arrived home.
I removed my dress.
I removed my make-up.
I took a bath.
I changed into my night dress.
I cried myself to sleep.

i.am.so.shamed.

2007-04-13T19:04:00.000+08:00

This is kinda late but I'm gonna write this anyway, it's my blog. haha!

I am getting depressed. I didn't realize that a school year has passed. Aww....one more year in my miserable life has passed quite miserably. I am so surprised.

Seriously, I don't know what I'm so depressed about. I didn't sleep last night. I slept for about 5 am this morning and i don't feel hungry or anything. I don't even want to read (read: reading is my oxygen). I can't bear the sight of food. What the hell is wrong with me? Uh-oh, if this continues I'll ruin my summer and break my promise. Bugger.

Is it because of the surprising chocolate deficiency in my diet. My mom forgot to buy chocolates in the grocer. Uh-oh. Oh no. Or perhaps (double bugger) I'm finally in love. You see I seem to miss this specific creature. Yes, I terribly miss him. Last time we saw each other, we didn't even talk because I was not so happy that time, I was feeling very sick -- of everything. Oh no.

I couldn't say that I haven't fallen in love in the past. All of that crap I consider to be alien to my cynical system. I think love is okay for other beings but for me, I am simply hopeless. But, this particular creature is different. It cannot be contained in these words. I don't know. I don't want to be in love. No. I am not. Of course, I am not. of course not. Why the hell would I be? Heck, I'm not even human.

a.promise

2007-04-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

sorry if i keep on changing blogs. I know it's such a mess. Anyway, I promise I'll stick to this. I promise that except of course in a life and death situation. Teehee.

mm

2007-04-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

i hate the new blogger. I can't upload my skin!...aww..darn it...
i regret moving here..but i hope they'll fix the problem soon...

haha

2007-04-04T23:26:00.000+08:00

under construction