tapos na ang summer camp

Well, today was the last day of the science summer camp in de la salle university. It was a two-day program. Yesterday, we took an overview in Biology and Physics but I wasn't able to attend the Physics activity because I needed to go to school. (read: busy mom) When I got to my beloved Maksci (sarcasm? you decide), my mom was waiting. Then, she left after she signed the whole contract stuff. So the next steps was left for me to accomplish. After the enrollment fussines, I proceeded to our first meeting as officers (naks! level).

Midway into the meeting, I was beginning to lose myself, depression settled in..until this moment. I feel like killing myself. I didn't enjoy that day much. So, when I woke up today, I was still feeling really morbid. I tried to keep my energy up today. Umm..today we talked about the Graph theory and statistics in math, then we proceeded to chemistry. We made several experiments. It was ok. The culminating activity finished at around 6-ish. Got home at arounnd 7:30-ish...

i.am.not.happy.but.who.is

oh yah!. I really am not. Do I look happy? Oh no!.

My life is full of freaky stuff.

overdosed.with.cadbury

Yup, I am full of chocolate. I ate two bars straight. Is that healthy? O.o Anyway, while I was munching, this thought suddenly entered my brain somewhere.

Can you ever get used to the world that nothing ever amazes you anymore?

Yah, you must think I must be completely crazy and I need medical attention right now. Well, I thought so too, a while ago but I explored that thought .

I remember my youngest brother, Josh, when he was about one year old. I put a piece of scotchtape on his leg with one end free. He picked it up and it stuck to his fingers. He removed it with his other hand and it too stuck on that hand. I was laughing (read: evil sister.haha). But he didn't seem to be annoyed, the thing seemed to amaze him. He was smiling as he was studying the object. Always picking it up with another hand then the other, then the other. It always stuck.

He was so thrilled of the scotchtape. Well, it was just a scotchtape. I know for a fact that it is very handy in torn papers and such. And when I think of it, it never amazed me that much or so I think. Perhaps it is because that I am growing and getting used to everything that I just accept and accept without questioning, without asking, without appreciating. I don't want my life to be like this because if I do get used to everything, if nothing could ever interest me again, then, how am I supposed to learn?!

I think that that is the reason that adults are so very boring, not all but at least most of them. They don't appreciate anything. They concern themselves with stuff like papers and documents and checks and such. It seems idiotic to not be amazed by the world anymore. I don't want to be like that. But I can never go to neverland, can I? I can not stop the natural process of changing. I think for now, I will be satisfied with the solution that I never stop asking questions, that I never cease to be amazed to things that I can percieve or not.

doktor.paybh

I was watching myx yesterday and this song happens to be in the hit chart. It's more of a pop kind of song, more of hip-hop and r&b. I'm not really in that genre but this song reminded me of doktor paybh. Doktor paybh is the person who made my life sensible by wrecking it. Doktor paybh is so ugly. haha. Doktor paybh made me realize that creatures like him are stupid, selfish losers that don't deserve anyone's attention. I am not going to elaborate what doktor paybh did. Though doktor paybh hurt me, I still hope that doktor paybh changes. Toodles doktor paybh!

Over it by Katherine Mcphee

I'm over your lies,and I'm over your games.

I'm over you asking me,when you know I'm not okay.

You call me at night,and I pick up the phone.

And though you've been telling me,I know you're not alone.oh..

That's why(your eyes)

I'm over it(your smile)

I'm over it(realize)

I'm over it

I'm over it

I'm over..

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it..I'm over your hands,and I'm over your mouth.

Trying to drag me down,and fill me with self-doubt.oh..

That's why,(your words)

I'm over it(so sure)

I'm over it(I'm not your girl)

I'm over it

I'm over it

I'm over...

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it..

Don't call,

don't come by,

ain't no use,

don't ask me why,

you'll never change,

there'll be no more crying in the rain.

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it..I'm so over it....I'm over it....

Wanting you,to be wanting me.

No that ain't no way to be.

How I feel, read my lips,because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,you never were a friend of mine.

Hurt at first, a little bit,but now I'm so over.

I'm so over it.

Friend?

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

hands

do you still believe in these quizzes? I don't...I just am TOTALLY addicted to them!!!

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills. Idealistic and dreamy, you tend toward the impractical. You have a knack for getting yourself in sticky situations. Brainy and intelligent, you are intellectual to the point of being incomprehensible. Your emotions tend to be well though out. You're willing to wait out a bad situation, and you're never too quick to act.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

cynicality-er....what?

You Are 48% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How Cynical Are You?

observant.daw.ako

Your Observation Skills Get A B

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

dig.this.

something's wrong with blogthings.com's system....seriously

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Famous Dancer. Where You Lived: France. How You Died: The Plague.

Who'<"http://www.blogthings.com/pastlifegenerator/">Who Were You In a Past Life?

adik na sa blogthings

You Are 18% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Values ala Mam Ballados

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty highly.You're completely devoted to your friends and family.Even if they totally screw up, you're still there for them.Just make sure they're equally loyal to you! Honesty: You value honesty highly.You're unflinchingly honest, even when it's not easy.For you, integrity is very important - in yourself and others.People may not always like what you say, but they know they can trust it. Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount.You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take.Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need.But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility highly.You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are.And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better.You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low. Tolerance: You value tolerance highly.Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you...You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends.You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

graduation

shucks...haha..officer na ako!!!.....wahahahahhaha......napakasaya ko ngaung araw na 'to.......

Well, the day started in a very awful way but it is something personal, so I won't mention it here. I arrived at school at 8 am. I was supposed to be there at 6 am. lol. I was late because I went to gate three to pick out our name cloth and I was so stuck in traffic. So when I got to school, I saw my parent car. Wow, they're early, I didn't expect them to show up in the next thirty minutes or so. So, I went inside the school. Then, I began to panic because Pong (haha) told me there was something wrong with the 'stage letters'. Crap! their early. So, I beagn hunting for open internet shops. I was running around poblacion, literally .I finished at around 9..double crap..

When I went back to school. My buddies were putting on their BDA, then suddenly, I cried. I didn't know what the hell made me do that but tears suddenly cames treaming down my cheeks. I am guessing it was because of pressure, fear, excitement, regret; I know I'm not even close. Then, I got dressed, in time for the ceremony. The ceremony was ok, the best actually but I didn't get to enjoy it because I was feeling really, really depressed. The best part was the turnover ceremony. (grabe!) Anyway, my designation is Administration.

After the graduation, bonding time! We,including our senior officers laid on the stage. Sir Barry turned off the lights. We made our tummy, legs, end every inch of each other pillows. Music was playing from Sir Nieva's iPod, and we were just there..enjoying the moment. Five people made me their pillow...haha...Paula, Rea, Mam Hansel, Mam Marjorie, Paulina. I was hugging pau. The feeling of being there was so exhilarating, truly remarkable. It took a lot of my depression away. Then, Sir Bennette arrived from Wendy's carrying a bunch of fries. Then our lunch came. Thanks to Sir Barry, Queen, Corps..haha, Ivan, kevin, and Sir Rei from KFC..

After we ate. We had games, spearheaded by Sir Bennette...lakas talaga niya mantrip! First was trip to jerusalem!...I was kinda squashed...then the dancing part.....It was sort of a contest for people. After them, Sir Rei ordered me to dance but I turned him down...regret.regret....Because I just don't dance....It was his last order and I didn't fulfill it..aww...regret.regret... :'(

Then we headed to Denjo's house...corps.kor.core.cohre.chor.kohr.kohre.....Denjo is our Corps Commander, kaya celebrate ulit sa bahay niya.We left school at around 3:30 pm before we went to his house, we stopped by Vct to rent "The Omen"...a suspense flick. So we arrived there at around 4. We watched the first Disc then we ate..haha..ice cream and etc. The eating part was fun, Sir Nieva kept teasing Kim, and we were all laughing. Well, napagtripan din naman ako. pero watever.

Anyway, after that some of the senior officers left. Then we watched the second disc, not really scary..more of shocking...Paulina, Sir Rei, Alen, Paula and bei-bei wanted to stay for another movie but I had to go. I left with Kim and Rea. korhe accompanied us on the way home. I forgot to mention Joshua, korhe's younger brother. He was five......la lang..sama namin siya magbonding...hehe......

over-all...today was fun-beyond words...just don't know the things that i am going to encounter as an officer, bet it's going to be harder...but i bet i'll make it through. Because COCC made me realize that I can do unimaginable things...haha....byie...

another.one

You Are Very Honest

You tell it like it is, no matter what. Even if the truth hurts, you'll dish it out. And while some may get hurt by your honesty... At least everyone knows where you stand!

How Honest Are You?

said.i'm weird.i.think.so.too

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

today

i wonder what shall I write about?

Well, today I finsihed a bottle of Martinelli, it's non-alcoholic but it makes me kinda bubbly. I spent the whole day reading my second novel this summer. It's the second novel of Libba Bray, I just love her.

I just finished watching happy feet, I rented it. It was really nice and now, I am kinda addicted to penguins. haha . Anyway, I miss the people from school and the freakiness of third year.

I remember sacrificing my sleep just to get things done because I am just too stubborn. I am so stubborn that I won't stop until I finish, until I find out - whether I fail or win. You might call me a spoiled brat. Well, sometimes that's true but I don't hurt people. Well, I don't hurt them intentionally.

I think that's my problem, I think too much - of others. I remember one time, I had to lie, just this one lie to save everything I loved. Well, at that time I thought that it would and it was the only way, no other way. But it failed me. I kept it and it failed me, that one lie. It didn't solve anything, it ruined everything in fact. That lie just hurt the very things that I was trying to protect....

But, that's over, I'm now a wreck and that stuff is a broken mirror. I can't pick it up anymore. I'll have to fix myself. hehe. The problem was that I saw the only way, the easy one, I jumped onto it. I thought about it and acted upon it, and I lost....to those people, sorry. smileys, everyone. :)

.prom.

this is my prom post. It's been a month, the date in the picture is wrong, got this from Armand. I like this pic because it sums up my prom experience. To me, that night was very sparkly, very big, very elegant but it was all a lie. ask my best friend the reason because I am not talking about that in this post.

My junior prom experience:

I woke up.
I took a bathe.
I ate a heavy lunch.
I went to the salon.
The gay person put on too much make-up on me, I felt that I was wearing someone else's.
I got home and got dressed in my "ball" gown (uck) and heels (double uck).
When I saw myself in the mirror, I didn't believe that that was me.
I waited for Denjo, he was called my date.
When he came, we went to the navy clubhouse; my mom drove.
I ate fruit- flavored cheerios in the car.
When we arrived, we were not late.
Then, our table was changed, so we had to sit at the back.
The turn-over ceremony happened and unfortunately nobody's hair was set on fire with the candles.
Then the dancing happened.
The crowning of the prom winners.
Pictorial in the white room.
More dancing.
It was over at midnight.
My mom picked us up.
We went home.
It was about one in the morning.
We arrived home.
I removed my dress.
I removed my make-up.
I took a bath.
I changed into my night dress.
I cried myself to sleep.

i.am.so.shamed.

This is kinda late but I'm gonna write this anyway, it's my blog. haha!

I am getting depressed. I didn't realize that a school year has passed. Aww....one more year in my miserable life has passed quite miserably. I am so surprised.

Seriously, I don't know what I'm so depressed about. I didn't sleep last night. I slept for about 5 am this morning and i don't feel hungry or anything. I don't even want to read (read: reading is my oxygen). I can't bear the sight of food. What the hell is wrong with me? Uh-oh, if this continues I'll ruin my summer and break my promise. Bugger.

Is it because of the surprising chocolate deficiency in my diet. My mom forgot to buy chocolates in the grocer. Uh-oh. Oh no. Or perhaps (double bugger) I'm finally in love. You see I seem to miss this specific creature. Yes, I terribly miss him. Last time we saw each other, we didn't even talk because I was not so happy that time, I was feeling very sick -- of everything. Oh no.

I couldn't say that I haven't fallen in love in the past. All of that crap I consider to be alien to my cynical system. I think love is okay for other beings but for me, I am simply hopeless. But, this particular creature is different. It cannot be contained in these words. I don't know. I don't want to be in love. No. I am not. Of course, I am not. of course not. Why the hell would I be? Heck, I'm not even human.

a.promise

sorry if i keep on changing blogs. I know it's such a mess. Anyway, I promise I'll stick to this. I promise that except of course in a life and death situation. Teehee.

mm

i hate the new blogger. I can't upload my skin!...aww..darn it...
i regret moving here..but i hope they'll fix the problem soon...

haha

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